I woke up in the middle of the night… startled to hear you. Startled because I wanted your soft feline “meow” to be next to me, yet my mind knew the harsh reality even as I was thrown abruptly awake from my dream. Without my permission, my mind accepted the knowledge that you were gone, while my heart refused this fact.
Do you know how much I love you? I AM NOT READY TO LET YOU GO AND I WANT YOU TO COME BACK TO ME! Do you realize how grief stricken I feel? There is an empty whole within my heart and I cry for you constantly.
You have been fighting two and half long months since we were told it was your time to leave us. The chronic kidney disease finally took you away from us. You are finally at peace with your brother Dimitri in kitty heaven.
I named you “Gabriel,” an angel who serves as a messenger sent from God. You have brought (bring- I’m struggling to use past tense…) so much light and love into my life. You were always such a little guy and never gained much weight so I nicknamed you “Baby Gabby.” I felt guilty about this because people always confuse you for a girl but you are definitely a boy kitty who loves his mom and dad. We are so lucky you chose to be our companion.
My favorite memories…
– You loved to play with that yellow and orange stick toy we got from the dollar store 7 years ago!
– When I came home from work you would greet me at the door excitedly and then proceed to the sidewall – dip your your head down, push your butt up and expect me to pet you constantly.
– You slept next to me every night on my left side… purring your constant state of contentment.
– In the mornings… if I ignored the alarm clock you kindly meowed at me to get out of bed.
– From the moment you met David you were constantly pawing at him and helped me realize he was “the one” – You loved to put your face in his face!
– You loved to knead us, read our books and paw at our iPads whenever you got the chance!
I want to remember you happy and playful. I want to remember all of the light you brought into our life and I pray that you are at peace.
How do I go on without your constant love and affection?